Tombstone

If badass had a homepage you can bet your bottom dollar that Tombstone would be one of the first source links at the top of her screen. "You tell em I'm coming!! and Hell's coming with me! HELL IS COMING WITH ME!!!" - Wyatt finding his revenge!
The Earp brothers, led by Mr. Wyatt Earp himself are staples in the cowboy hall of fame. If there was an all star team for Badasses all three of those boys would make the list. Lets not forget the best of the best, Doc Holliday. Played by Val Kilmer, always on his A-game, throwing in his signature poker chip over the knuckles routine. I'm for real, check out his other movies, it's his staple move, he does it in every movie he's in. Anyway, shot in the AZ during the summer, the temp on the set made it's way up to 134. Not surprising with all the lighting and rising body count. The original director had them wear all wool costumes to stick with the times... UGH!!! I can't even begin to think about the weight loss diets that type of water loss would appeal to!!! Oh Gaaad its so good!!!

So here is the run down, without ruining it, Tombstone is a lawless town. The Earp boys make their way to AZ with the hopes of striking rich in silver. Doc, comes to the southwest hoping the dry air will help with his tuberculosis. Soon after, we are introduced to 'the cowboys' the first organized crime outfit in American History. You see back in the olden days, 'out west' towns had no sheriffs, because there was no law. The Earps, having retired from sheriff work, try to keep out of the mess being drawn up by the cowboys... Pshya Right! Please! Like these macho macho men are gonna sit back wand watch lawlessness drive fear into the hearts of the innocent! NEVER! Sooner than later they realize they can't make a future in a town without any law. This is not the way the cowboys hoped the future would pan out. Thus - conflict. But real life conflict!! This shit happened man!! Sure some people in the real world ran left instead of right, and maybe there as lot more or perhaps less spur cuttings!! Thats right, I said it 'spur cutting'!! Imagine, your enemy on the ground before you, having just lost a a fight, you walk up and as a final reminder that you are the ultimate Badass, you cut his face open with the spur on the back of your boot!! WHAAPOW!!!!

Plus the cast is freaking sweeeeet!!! Kurt Russell is one of the best actors to ever play in a western (only to e outdone by Seth Bullock in Deadwood). Seth Elliot, oh Seth Elliot!! When I think about Tombstone it's his huge white mustache that fills my mind with sweet western recollection. Bill Curtis, not bad at all. Val Kilmer, as I said before - my fav in this one. But the quote that just gets my pulse going is the convo between Virgil and Wyatt. Wyatt is telling Virgil it's not worth fighting the cowboys and it's sure as shit not worth starting a fight with them based on a minor criminal violation like having guns in the town. Wyatt asks "you wanna risk all that over a misdemeanor?" and without hesitation Virgil responds with "Damn right I'll risk it, their breaking the law!!" Well Helloooo Justice! Welcome to the wild west!

One of my favorite parts about this movie is the thunder. The looming doom thunder!!! The anti-subtle foreshadowing, beyond lion, wanna be dome, roaring thunder!! There is so much thunder it makes me question what's more fun, the gun fights or the dances of thunder doom. The lightening is so over the top bright you may be forced to avert my eyes occasionally. It's during one of these lightening storms when the cowboys make some of their more vicious moves. Like the classic 'in the back' shooting, and cowardly, no warning shanking. Blood everywhere!!! Women screaming, doctors cursing, brothers fighting for the revenge of the fallen!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I am the wrong sex and 100 years too late for my time!!
(side bar - there is a surprising number of instances in this film where men are open hand slapping each other. it's a little weird... thats all there is to say about that.)

I wish I could post movies on the blog and you all could just instantly upload them into your brains. You'd be such a happier person if you took the time to view this film. The horses, the clothes, the hats, the guns, the slang, the high step'n ladies and the shit eating cowboys all climaxing with more than just one fight at the O.K. Corral!! It almost seems like too much - it's not!!! But I won't lie, it leaves you wanting to shoot a gun. or at least watch someone shoot a gun. or maybe, watch another movie where there is a lot of guns being shot!!! So, get it, watch it and love it!!

I found one of the best scenes form the movie, it doesn't ruin anything for you. It DOES have my favorite line, the one I spoke about above between Virgil and Wyatt!! Plus it includes a fight in the O.K. Corral! Did I mention Wyatt's gun is called 'the peace maker'? Uh, it's just too good.
Oh, and for those of you familiar with this masterpiece let me just say to you-
"I'm your Huckleberry."